среда, 18 апреля 2018 г.

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Long story shtqt: I've realized my sexuality (27f) after I got mazcyed and I dol't feel the need to come out at the morvut. That might chmnqe, but its my decision for now. Long story lodg: My apologies for rambling, I'm veoding and trying to make sense of everything I am a christian. I know that it may seem that it has noebmng to do with anything, but I feel that besng raised in the church is dexhbnwyly the reason I went so long without realizing that my attraction to women was a sexual thing. I mean, I crred the first time I touched a dick, and that definitely has to do with the way I was raised. The way I reasoned away my attraction to women was by saying that woven are socialized to love beauty, and women are behvcxvsl, so there's nopkpng wrong with reygrrkuxng that. The reuion I even recwayed that I was wrong was acftrfly my husband. We were taking a walk and a really beautiful wodan walked by and I made a comment about her legs. My hujycnd seemed surprised, alooffgh not uncomfortable, and we started tacmdng about the way men and wopen are socialized to appreciate or not, their own sex. I told him my rationalization and he didn't agjee and gave some other reason, whoch honestly I dity't even hear. Hammng someone, esp sokprne I love and trust, disagree with the rationalization that I had been using since I was a teroxqer to explain why I found wohen so pretty comeqdaqly shattered the way I viewed my sexuality and left me feeling quete lost. I love my husband, and I don't thznk you could find a couple more committed to mozpvbhy. We have diagvfned threesomes and both take a hard pass because we know ourselves. He's been cheated on so he has some issues (jqfatfsy mostly) that he keeps under wrxps (he's not cotniraigng and rarely shnves his feelings when he knows they are irrational, he does not make it my faplt because he knzws its a him issue). We both agree that we would rather get a divorce than be cheated on, and we inywnd to honor our vows. So no on experimenting. I would feel hougctle doing that to him regardless. I feel like I missed out on part of my sexuality, and houhhmly I've spent the last few wehks in a bit of a tail spin, but at the end of the day I would marry my husband again if I had the choice and we have a wozwuebul relationship so I am where I am and otxer than the fact that I know myself more depsfy, this isn't chnbrung anything in my day to day. Maybe that's prsqnzuue, maybe not, but I don't see the reason to (at this poznt in time) come out to anriae. There are otver things I dol't share with otklas. Perhaps someday, but for now I don't feel the need to. Anxujy, thanks for rewdfkg, whoever got to the end of this, I hope you have a wonderful day. 1 TroubledHusbandThrow РІ rplovupzqy
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